from Natural Life Magazine July/August 1997 The Natural Child Column Parenting And Educating That
Respects Children
The Messy Room
By Linda A. Boulter
Here are some
positive reasons to let your kids’ rooms stay messy until they
decide to clean them!
First, it enhances their coordination. The children get to
practice their balance, a sort of tight rope walking, dance-like
movement through and around mounds of toys and clothes without
breaking or slipping on anything.
It contributes to developed memory skills, better than “The
Memory Game” (and definitely more real). Now where is that
purple sock? It could be under the bed, stuffed in that
dollhouse.
They learn practical, handyperson skills. They can develop
the fine art of unsticking drawers that are jammed full of
clothes stuffed in every possible space.
They learn the clever art of positive thinking. “The room is
fine; I like it the way it is.” They learn the power of
persuasion. If they share a room with a sibling, they learn how
to persuade the other to help clean. Parents learn how to
mediate a non-violent, cooperative effort.
They learn that they too have rights, that they can have
their own space, their own privacy, a place that parents won't
violate with their values and standards of cleanliness.
When and if they finally make the decision to clean up, they
learn the art of discrimination, sorting dirty clothes from
clean ones, useful junque from junk junk. They may learn
creative thinking. They may organize a system of orderliness
that is uniquely their own, not imposed from without.
And – this is a biggie – they also learn one of the easiest
ways to punch their parent's buttons. This was one of my biggest
emotional buttons until I readjusted my thinking. I gave them
power by showing them that a messy room can inflame to high
levels of passion and anxiety.
But, in the end, the key is that they do learn. And
we learn that learning cannot be imposed from without
because it only has true value when it comes from within.
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