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Subscribe Renew Read Back Issues Advertise Contribute Reprints Commentary Join Our Reader Advisory Panel Visit Natural Life On Facebook Sustainability Statement Ethics Statement RSS Feed Return  to Home Page   Register for email updates from Natural Life Magazine July/August 1997 The Natural Child Column Parenting And Educating That Respects Children The Messy Room By Linda A. Boulter Here are some positive reasons to let your kids’ rooms stay messy until they decide to clean them! First, it enhances their coordination. The children get to practice their balance, a sort of tight rope walking, dance-like movement through and around mounds of toys and clothes without breaking or slipping on anything. It contributes to developed memory skills, better than “The Memory Game” (and definitely more real). Now where is that purple sock? It could be under the bed, stuffed in that dollhouse. They learn practical, handyperson skills. They can develop the fine art of unsticking drawers that are jammed full of clothes stuffed in every possible space. They learn the clever art of positive thinking. “The room is fine; I like it the way it is.” They learn the power of persuasion. If they share a room with a sibling, they learn how to persuade the other to help clean. Parents learn how to mediate a non-violent, cooperative effort. They learn that they too have rights, that they can have their own space, their own privacy, a place that parents won't violate with their values and standards of cleanliness. When and if they finally make the decision to clean up, they learn the art of discrimination, sorting dirty clothes from clean ones, useful junque from junk junk. They may learn creative thinking. They may organize a system of orderliness that is uniquely their own, not imposed from without. And – this is a biggie – they also learn one of the easiest ways to punch their parent's buttons. This was one of my biggest emotional buttons until I readjusted my thinking. I gave them power by showing them that a messy room can inflame to high levels of passion and anxiety. But, in the end, the key is that they do learn. And we learn that learning cannot be imposed from without because it only has true value when it comes from within.   November/December 2008 September/October 2008 July/August 2008 May/June 2008 March/April 2008 January/February 2008 November/December 2007   |  Magazine  |  About Us  |  Contact  |  Subscribe  | |  Advertise  |  Contribute  |  Privacy Policy  |