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from Natural Life Magazine,
September/October, 2009 When Your Diaper-Free Baby Grows into Diapers Q: I started my child on elimination communication from his third day. By five months I hardly missed a cue and he was basically diaper-free. But, when he started crawling, he lost interest or just didn’t notice and I found myself cleaning the floor, the couch, his high chair… so I started using diapers some of the time, thinking it would be for a short while. Now he is three and he resists my suggestion to use the potty. So I either clean the floor and wet clothes or put him in diapers. I am so confused. I thought I would skip diapers all together and now I have a child in diapers. I would appreciate any advice. A: You are not alone. Mothers often call me frustrated and bewildered about this same issue. Elimination communication generates much joy at the beginning, yet often disappointment and confusion later on. My observation is that modern mothers turn this natural practice into a goal-oriented project. They expect the baby who starts without diapers to master self-regulation quickly and smoothly.
Elimination communication is a loving response, not a way to manipulate an outcome or train the baby. In talking to EC parents, and in reading about tribal mothers, I have found that with or without diapers, children take their individual time – of one to a few years – to learn body self-regulation. A mother from China told me that even though children’s pants are open at the crotch, parents are cleaning up the mess after them at the same ages as we do for our children in the West. Instead of washing diapers, they pick up poop off the ground or wipe the floor and then the child’s body. Here, we either wash pants, towels, floor and couches, or diapers. The child learns either way and it is the communication that impacts his self-awareness. I had not heard of EC when my children were babies but provided similar connection intuitively. We used cotton diapers and lots of diaper-free time. I often noticed right before my baby needed to go and acknowledged with a loving smile, words and sounds. When a child was naked, I responded either by taking him to pee or by bringing a towel or a receiving blanket to “catch it.” When the baby was in a diaper, I would know what he was doing and change the cotton diaper promptly. In the summer, my children were often outdoors, naked and free to relieve themselves in Nature. When they were naked in the house, they showed interest in the potty early on. I supported their interest but didn’t . . . To read the rest of this article, subscribe to Natural Life's digital edition, which includes access to this and other back issues. Naomi Aldort is the author of “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.” Her advice columns are published in progressive parenting magazines worldwide and she offers counseling internationally by phone/Skype regarding all ages. If you have a question you’d like Naomi to consider answering in this column, please email it to her at naomi at aldort.com. However, she regrets that, due to the large volume of mail received, she is unable to provide individual responses to these questions. For further information, about Naomi’s work, including products, counseling and her free email newsletter visit her website www.authenticparent.com. |
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