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from Natural Life magazine, March/April 2009 When Siblings Tease Q: My younger son is often teased by his teenaged sister and then he teases his younger brother. I don’t want the children to get hurt but no matter what I say, they don’t stop. How can I help them to stop name calling? A: Your desire to stop the teasing is natural. Yet, teaching children to control the offender makes them weak and dependent on others for their happiness. Instead, consider empowering your children in the face of the teasing. Amazingly, as we will see later, a peaceful response disarms the offender because his attack has no receiver. The point is not to manipulate the offender, but to truly and unconditionally stay at peace. Your children will encounter harsh words throughout their lives. Do you want them to shrink from such words or to stay connected and content? You can’t stop the rain but you can take a raincoat, stay at home or enjoy getting wet. Children can be content and powerful no matter what anyone says...if our responses model such peace. There is an old Zen story that demonstrates how to welcome whatever comes your way “without blinking an eye:” A warrior came to a temple seeking the old Zen master who stayed alone after all the villagers fled in fear. . . . To read the rest of this article, subscribe to Natural Life's digital edition, which includes access to this and other back issues. Naomi Aldort is the author of, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. Parents from around the globe seek Aldort’s advice by phone, in person and by listening to her CDs and attending her workshops. Her advice columns appear in progressive parenting magazines in Canada, USA, AU, UK, and translated to German, French, Hebrew, Dutch, Japanese, Chinese, Indonesian and Spanish. Naomi is married and a mother of three. Her youngest son is 15-year-old cellist Oliver Aldort: www.OliverAldort.com. Her middle son is 18-year-old composer and self made pianist Lennon Aldort: www.LennonAldort.com. For Naomi’s free newsletter, information on teleclasses, phone sessions and products, visit www.NaomiAldort.com or www.AuthenticParent.com. |
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