Q: My
two-year-old is still waking up a few times each night to breastfeed. She sleeps
next to me in our family bed. I am expecting another baby and am really needing
my sleep. Can I wean my toddler from night nursing without causing her emotional
harm? How do I do that?
A: Yes,
it is possible to gently guide a two-year-old to wean from night nursing.
Emotional harm is only possible when the child doubts her value in the first
place. What makes human wee-ones resilient is their knowledge that they are
worthy and cared for. They can then handle varied situations and emotions while
staying rooted in this self-assurance.
Your question makes clear that your daughter is loved and
cared for with prompt responsiveness. Nursing at night into the third year is
not a primal need. Her sleeping needs are met; you are right next to her, she
knows her worth and is safe and cared for. She is not going to lose this sense
of security due to night weaning.
Although I love child-directed weaning, night or day, I have
learned through years of counseling parents to relinquish dogma and to respond
to circumstances in the kindest possible way. With more than one child, a well
rested mother can be more valuable to the child’s development than night
nursing. Our perfect intentions are sometimes not possible. Yet, there is always
more than one loving answer to the surprises we encounter in parenting.
Will My Child Cry?
Many attachment mothers believe that a child should never
cry. This is not true, not possible and not beneficial. Babies cry to
communicate needs and we meet those needs. Toddlers have wants that are not
always primal needs and we cannot supply all these wants. Crying is a way for
the child to...
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Naomi Aldort is the author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy. Her
advice columns are published in progressive parenting magazines worldwide.
She offers phone guidance and counseling by phone/Skype internationally
regarding all ages, babies through teens: attachment parenting; natural
learning; peaceful and powerful parent-child relationships. If you have a
question you'd like Naomi to consider answering in this column, please email it
to her at naomi [at] aldort.com. However, she regrets that, due to the large volume of mail received, she is
unable to provide individual responses. For further information,
about her work, including products,
counseling and a free newsletter, visit www.authenticparent.com. Her column
appears in each issue of Natural Life magazine, which is available by
subscription via this website.