I have been laughed at, stared at, leered at and
glared at, chided, derided and scorned. Why? Because I breastfeed my child. I do
not limit this activity to our home or the privacy of a restroom. I breastfeed
her on demand, whenever and wherever she happens to feel hungry or need
reassurance. I have nursed her in our parked car outside the grocery store. I
have nursed her on a settee in our favorite bookstore. I have even nursed her
discreetly at a restaurant table, shielded by her soft pink blanket. How long
have I been committing this crime against cultural bias? Not for four months,
not for eight months, but for 48 months… so far – this time!
Then
The first time, 20 years ago, I breastfed my eldest daughter for 18 months; and
I felt like an anomaly – a sore-chested, bare- breasted leaking freak of nature.
My then husband barely tolerated what he considered infringement on his
territory. My friends swore I would never get my breasts back, even after I got
my breasts back. The people who were not my friends said breastfeeding was not
civilized and that only animals nursed their young. Older and – I thought –
wiser, people said that breastfeeding was for people who didn’t know any better.
So there I was, 22 years old, camping outside the comfort zone of conformity and
seriously considering bottle feeding just to get back in the tent!
Enter Mom. Mom who birthed and breastfed ten babies
(consecutively, not all at once, although sometimes two at a time), not because
she read an expert opinion in a book, but because she knew it was the right
thing to do. Her innate desire to nurture her babies guided her to nurse them.
Her instincts instructed her to show physical affection, even though her family
had been undemonstrative. She nursed, hugged and cuddled even when she felt
exhausted, which was most of the time. Mom did all of this before the arrival of
nursing bras, microwaveable pillows and breastfeeding support groups. Of course,
the fact that there was no formula to buy or prepare and no bottles to wash
helped her maintain her resolve, for she was nothing if not a skilled economist.
Through her actions, Mom taught me three things about breastfeeding: It is
natural; it is economical; but it is not an effective form of birth control.
Determined to follow my mother’s example, sans nine of the
ten pregnancies, I resigned myself to breastfeeding. For the most part, however,
I completely missed the point. It never occurred to me to think of it as
anything but a maternal obligation, much less to revel in the bond I shared with
my daughter. I had no clue how lucky I was that she latched on successfully
right there in the hospital, or how incredible it was that she thrived on breast
milk alone for her first six months.
I gave little thought to how strong her immune system had
become (she rarely got sick) or to how.....
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Becca Challman believes in natural parenting,
experiential learning and child-led weaning. She writes from her heart and her
home about living the natural life with her husband Scott and their daughter
Grace. Contact her by email at
beccawrites@verizon.net.
